Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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