oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize