I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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