All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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