Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
