So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
In America we eat man semen.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
