Screwed.edu
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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