I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
