I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
