Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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