dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
