Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
