No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
