I am spending my child support on dildos
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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