Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
