Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
