Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
