fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
