i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
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I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
