She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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