I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
