you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
