I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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