why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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