Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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