dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
