Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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