When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
