dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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