Just mADE A PArabola og urine
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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