I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
