Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
