So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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