I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
