Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
it's great music for shaving your balls
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
