I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
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She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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