you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
