Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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