Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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