My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize