I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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