you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
