He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My vagina is very pro this idea
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