The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
