"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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