hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
