So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
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What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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