To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
