I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
