What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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