The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
