She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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