She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
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Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
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I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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