In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
