I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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