wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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