the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
