You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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