dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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