She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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