TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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