At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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