yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
