It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
