Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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