please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
