i wish peter jackson would direct porn
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
